Ralph Poley was one of those fortunate people to receive a new heart in January 2007.  He was also fortunate to receive a second, unexpected gift – the chance to meet his donor’s family and become close friends.

“We first made contact through letter writing facilitated by the QEII,” says Ralph, real estate lawyer in Saint John, New Brunswick. “We now talk on the phone or email a couple times per month, and we have celebrated every transplant anniversary together.” When Ralph visited the family’s city, he took a stethoscope with him so that the donor’s young daughter could hear her father’s heart beating inside Ralph. “It was an awesome moment for us all,” describes Ralph. 

Ralph’s transplant was a journey for his entire family – his wife of 40 years Betty, their two sons Stephen and Michael, and their two grandsons Tyler and Austin. “There are many things I am grateful for, but the most is to be able to see my grandsons grow. That is the greatest gift of all,” expresses Ralph. “The care I received at the QEII was superb – and continues to be wonderful during my annual check-up.”

The Poley family (L-R) Stephen, Ralph, Betty, and Michael.

Ralph’s encounter with the donor family was definitely unique, due to a strict confidentially policy. Tami Murphy, critical care organ donation coordinator at the QEII, describes that organ donation coordinators “facilitate communication between recipients and donor families but any information shared in letters cannot identify the transplant recipient or the donor / family. Recipients and donor families may in fact discover each other, as in Ralph’s case, but we do not facilitate this meeting”.  

August 2011